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Heavenly Residence


Today it has been one year since you gained you heavenly residence. It is one of those weird instances where it feels like it somehow went by far faster than I thought it would and in the same instance feels like it was a very long time. I felt every single one of those days. To say it’s been a rollercoaster learning how to live this life without you is about the best way to describe the emotions that I’ve been through. Each day has had its challenges and I am glad to say it’s joys. I miss you so very much!


You used to say that you knew it would be ok if you weren’t here because I am so strong. That is true. We are ok. God has shown me that I can be strong. The truth is that in this instance I really wish you had been wrong in that statement because I wish you were here. I wish I wasn’t having to be strong.


Every day I hold my head up and try to move forward… try to figure out how to navigate this adventure called life without you. Everyday I hope that I am enough. Everyday I pray that God helps me and the truth is that without God’s help I would be a puddle on the ground.


I miss so many things that we shared. I miss our talks, your company, your hugs, the way you were always there for the kids and how you love them so much. I was thinking last night about what it might be that I miss the most. I think that listening to you play your guitar while I fall asleep might be one of the things that I miss the most.


I know that you are not in pain and that you have the best gig ever! So, I try not to be sad in my missing you. It is not forever. I will see you again. It is hard. I guess that is me being selfish. I wish you were here.


There where always be a place in my heart that is tender and hurts because I love you! God gave you to me and he took you back. I still don’t really understand why, but I know that I don’t have to understand I just have to trust. God has a plan. A plan for good and though I don’t understand it I know that God is taking care of me, the kids, and my family.


I will continue to miss you and I know life will continue to be a rollercoaster. I am grateful for the peace that God gives. I am grateful for the amazing people God has put I my life. I am so very blessed. Happy Heavenly Birthday Sweetheart!





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